The break up

The magic trick to quit smoking cigarettes

Use this super easy process to become the non-smoker you always dreamed of being in 30 days or less. The best part? You pretty much keep smoking for the entire 30 day process.

  1. Understand that you hate smoking and you only do it because your brain is a nicotine junkie.
  2. The health risks are real and you are not going to be like your friend Bobbie’s grandpa who lived to be 95 smoking hand rolled unfiltered cigarettes up until his last breath. Smoking will kill you and it will be a gross, painful death.
  3. Smoking is a ridiculous waste of money and you know that and you don’t need me to tell you that.
  4. You are ready to quit.
  5. Quitting smoking is really easy and all of the hype around how hard it is to quit has been pumped out into the universe by tobacco giants who continue to make money off of you to convince you that quitting is too hard and you should just keep on smoking.

Follow this tried and true quit plan – works every time even when you don’t want it to work:

Day 1 – Day 14:

Smoke your regular amount at your regular times. Don’t change anything. Every time you smoke really pay attention to the following things –

  1. How you feel 5 minutes before you smoked
  2. How you feel while you are smoking
  3. How you feel after you smoke

You will begin to realize that you feel slightly agitated before you smoke, relief while you smoke, and then slightly anxious after you smoke. Once the anxious feeling turns in to agitation you are ready for another cigarette and the cycle starts again. WTF!

Ok so now you know the cycle of the nicotine addiction – you basically feel like shit all of the time except for the time you are actually physically smoking at which point your throat is burning, your lungs are crying, and your sinuses are being clogged with goo.

Day 15 – 21:

Again smoke your regular amount at your regular times. Every time you smoke think about how you are feeding that cycle of nicotine addiction. Write down the approximate amount of time you spend smoking each day.

Day 22 – 31:

Decide which day you are going to quit smoking and mark it on your calendar. No point in throwing away cigarettes so try to plan for the day when your current supply runs out. Before your quit day purchase nicotine lozenges (2mg lozenges are better than the 4mg). Your quit day needs to be within this time period (day 22 – 31). Not next month, not when things slow down at work, etc. The longer you put it off the more fear your addict brain will be in and you will give it too much time to come up with a good reason to not quit. Remember you are in charge.

On your quit day (probably day 31 but may be sooner):

No smoking today. You are a non-smoker. Get rid of your ash trays. Get rid of your lighters. Toss out any remaining cigarettes. Take your lozenges as directed on the package. Try to take them at your regular smoking times. You may even go to your regular smoking place to have a lozenge. If you smoked outdoors having that time away and being outside was great! No need to lose that because you are no longer a smoker. Follow the instructions on the lozenges regarding when to take and for how long. Taper down as directed. At the end of the day tell yourself how awesome you are for kicking that self-harming bullshit of smoking. Remind the fear in your brain that everything is ok and in fact you did not smoke for the whole day and you did not die because of it. You are way healthier than you were the day before. When you wake up tomorrow remind yourself that you are still a non-smoker and non-smokers don’t smoke cigarettes so again for the day you will not be smoking.

Tips and Tricks:

  • Remember 1 day is all that matters. Don’t freak yourself out by thinking about how you will never smoke again. All of the other days don’t matter only today. Tell yourself, “I don’t know what will happen in the future but I know today I am not smoking”.
  • Having a craving? Take a lozenge! Lozenges allow you to make the behavioral change first and then allow you to taper off of the nicotine so you don’t have any withdrawal symptoms.
  • Behavioral changes can be challenging because we get in to a routine and it feels unsettling to change that routine. Take your lozenges! Deal with the routine change – remember 1 day is all that matters and today is that day.
  • You matter! Nothing is more important than you staying smoke free. Nothing. If you are in a situation that you feel like your only option to deal with the situation is to smoke then leave the situation.
  • Just the thought of quitting smoking is enough to scare your brain. Fear is a natural response to the unknown. Rather than risk the unknown your brain would rather you continue to do something that is actually going to harm you in the long run. Silly brain doesn’t even know what’s good for it! Its ok that you feel fear – welcome the fear – tell your fear that its ok that it is here but that you will keep it safe and you are going to make this change because you are smart and you know it is the best decision for you.
  • Smoking is not the solution to any problem. You only pretend that it is because you are addicted to nicotine and you think smoking is the only way to get that quick dose you are used to. That is why lozenges work so well when you first quit tobacco. They deliver that quick hit of nicotine that your brain wants.
  • Your future self will thank you for quitting. You will feel proud of the decision that you made to quit instead of shame for continuing to feed your addiction.

What to expect as a non-smoker:

If you are anything like I used to be, you have been smoking for so long that you no longer remember what it is like to not smoke. Since sometimes the fear of the unknown can flip us out and make us do dumb shit let me remind you of what being a non-smoker is like.

Really happy person jumping in the air (or doing the splits you decide)
  1. Not a lot changes. You just are no longer a smoker. I kept waiting for something big to happen but nothing does.
  2. You have a little more time on your hands.
  3. After the initial shock of changing your routine wears off (about a week) you will probably feel silly for having smoked for so long.
  4. You will have weird random thoughts to go have a cigarette. Not like those nicotine or behavioral change withdrawal urges you feel for the first few days. Just a thought with no feeling attached.
  5. All of the things you already know – you will have more money, you will smell better, your sense of smell will improve, your sense of taste improves.
  6. The sinus congestion that you have had the entire time you have smoked will go away.
  7. You will find it easier to breath and you will not be as winded as easily.
  8. Oddly after a few months of not smoking you will actually feel like it is harder to breath and you are winded easier. This was news to me but I guess it is a result of your lungs healing themselves. The feeling goes away pretty much as suddenly as it comes on. I noticed it for a week or so at night when I was laying on my back.
  9. Your mood will become more stabilized. The cycle of nicotine addiction is pretty intense. Once you are off of that roller coaster ride you will probably find you are much more laid back about things than you think you are.
  10. You will love yourself for the good decision you made. No one ever feels proud thinking about when they started smoking. Every ex-smoker feels proud about their decision to quit. Its a great feeling to do the “hard” things today so your future self will thank you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *